“There’s no point in talking to you: you don’t understand me. You don’t even know me.”
And the parents wondering that how can their own children be so ruthless to them. Well, I won’t say that either of the sides are wrong. Being a teenager I can relate with all the teenagers out there that somehow the privacy we wish for isn’t really granted. And similarly with the parents, the thought of being disrespected by their children disheartens them.
Teens experience a natural desire to develop an identity outside of the parents’ concerned supervision. It’s important for the parents to be there so their teen feels comfortable talking about difficult topics. Independence is important for teens, but first they need to gain the confidence. Be there for your teens and encourage their independence, while still continuing to monitor their safety.
“No, you can’t go out tonight,” causes more than a glitch in a teen’s social diary; it implies that parents don’t trust them to make their own decisions. And, in a teen’s eyes, that’s not only unfair; it’s humiliating. “You’re not able to look after yourself.” These questions would be easily tolerated if uttered by a concerned friend, but from a parent they pinch on a teen’s own doubts. Feeling threatened by the kid who can’t remember to take his lunch, his keys or his money, teens blame the parents for reminding them of the child-self still residing within them.
As adolescents navigate the stormiest years in their development, they need coaching, support, good examples and most of all understanding. Adults need to understand that they need their own experiences to conquer the rock bottoms. Their variation in ideas and opinions should be respected and not merely let go off because they lack knowledge and do not hold the driving license.
Every parent knows well to groom their kids. The distance appears when everything is decided with respect to what parents want and not what the teen wishes for. Technology definitely has parted the kids from their parents but social bridges should not lead to mental bridges. Parents understand this theory well so they can better understand teen’s situation and decide accordingly.